


The Longest Road To Nowhere

by ColorfulStabwound



Series: The chronicles of Teddy and James [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gryffindor, Hogwarts, M/M, POV Second Person, Professor Lupin - Freeform, The Longest Road To Nowhere, hot for teacher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 03:39:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2493071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfulStabwound/pseuds/ColorfulStabwound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meals at the Gryffindor table were always an outlandish affair, but dinner was the most raucous of them all. Gryffindors were loud and liked to hear themselves talk, and they loved to do it at the end of the day and over a good meal; you included. He was sitting at the staff table, pinching the bridge of his nose through a deep yawn and you couldn’t help but frown because Teddy was never supposed to look like such a…grown up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Longest Road To Nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> All of my Teddy/James endeavors are made possible by my writing partner and the very best muse a person could ask for, Unkissed.
> 
> For Teddy, the only person James could ever truly love.

It was a Wednesday; the first time you noticed how tired he looked.

 

Meals at the Gryffindor table were always an outlandish affair, but dinner was the most raucous of them all. Gryffindors were loud and liked to hear themselves talk, and they loved to do it at the end of the day and over a good meal; you included. He was sitting at the staff table, pinching the bridge of his nose through a deep yawn and you couldn’t help but frown because Teddy was never supposed to look like such a… _grown up._

 

It was after several minutes of you watching him that Sebastian leaned forward and thumped you on the back of the head. “Earth to James.” He said, rather uninspired, and then everyone within ear reach laughed, because that’s what you did when a popular Seventh year Gryffindor made a joke. 

 

“Piss off, Wood. That effing hurt.” It didn’t _really_ hurt, but you were annoyed to be caught out, staring at Teddy, and so you tore your gaze away from him and turned your attention back to the table instead.

 

“You don’t stare at _me_ like that.” Catie chimed in from the other side of the table and you could only narrow your eyes because you knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t _that_ girl.

 

“Stare at you like how?” You say, and then you lean forward and put your elbows on the table just the way your mum always yells at you for and you stare at her.   _Really_ stare at her. Daring her to say anything at all.

 

Catie Finnigan was a year below you and one of your sister’s best friends. Ultimately, she was little more to you than another, in a line of girls who had had the pleasure of snogging you. The one thing she had that those other girls did not was your virginity, and if she thought that afforded her some sort of reprieve, she was fucking mistaken.

 

“Nothing.” She says after a long moment and bites her lip, and when your mouth curls into a smug grin, she rolls her eyes and proceeds to categorically ignore you in the way that only girls can.

 

Sebastian watches you both curiously and when he leans over and whispers “What’s that all about?”  In your ear, you shrug like you are clueless and go back to the half-eaten pile of mash on the plate in front of you.  When you covertly sneak a glance up at the staff table, Teddy is staring back at you and you nearly choke on a mouthful of potatoes.

 

\--

 

“Seriously mate, what’d you do to Catie? Lily said she’s been cursing your name to high heaven for the last two hours.” Sebastian questions you about Catie again on your way down to the Quidditch pitch after dinner. Team practice wasn’t officially until tomorrow, and technically the pitch was closed after dark, but you an Sebastian had been playing private one on one games the night before practices and matches for years; it was tradition.

  
Besides, being the Gryffindor team captain had its perks.

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You respond with a nasty grin and then you glance at him as you cut across the lawn, side by side, and call him a “pervert.”

 

Sebastian has been your best friend since you were old enough to walk, he knows you well enough to know how to decipher the meanings behind the things that come out of your mouth.

 

 

Which is why it is no surprise when he says, “You didn’t,” and nudges you sharply. When you say nothing at all he persists, “When?” he adds a bit skeptically, because he doesn’t entirely want to believe you.

 

“Does it matter?” You say and then you raise a brow at him because you are genuinely curious.

 

“Fuck yes it matters. I refuse to be the last seventh year virgin in Gryffindor tower.” Sebastian looks upset and you laugh because, well, you are James Potter and everything is always a joke to you.

 

“Ah, you should be proud mate. Hold your head high!” You clap him on the shoulder as you walk across the pitch towards the broom cupboard, and when he colorfully suggests you “go fuck yourself,” you laugh loudly.

 

“So what’s the deal with Catie then? No budding romance in your future?” Sebastian grins at you as he shucks off his robes and tosses them off to the side of the pitch along with yours. Like him, you know him well enough to know when he is full of utter shit.

 

“Nope.” Is your only reply and as you hand him his broom, you don’t miss the briefest flash of relief that splinters his expression for a fraction of a second.

 

You kick off the ground with the quaffle under your arm and over the next hour and a half you and Sebastian play. No rules, no formations, and no bloody snitch; just play for the sake of having a good time and letting off some steam. 

 

You don’t have to think about Teddy or the look in your best mate’s eye when he finds out what you did with the girl he fancies, and for a little while, you are once again, just Jamie.

 

By the time you are heading back up to the castle it’s fully dark and nearly time for you to make after hours rounds. Being Head Boy also had its perks, mostly in the form of wielding the power of detention. You stop off in the Gryffindor commons long enough to switch out your robes and affix your head boy badge firmly to the front of it.

 

Technically, you were not required to patrol the castle after hours so much as make sure the Prefects below you were doing so, which was a job that was perfectly suited for you because the only thing you enjoy more than handing out detentions, is telling other people what to do—And them being forced to listen to you.  By the time you made it to the first floor of the castle you had decided where you were going.

 

It didn’t matter that it was inappropriate or that he might be sleeping, or even that he would more than likely be _less than_ pleased to see you. It was only for a minute, just to make sure he was okay. That was it. Nothing more.

 

The doorknob felt like ice in your palm as when you ease the door open a fraction it creaks so loud that you visibly cringe. Normally you would knock, but it was late and this is Teddy, so you step inside the classroom that isn’t quite as dark as you expected it to be.

 

Teddy is sitting at his desk with his head propped up against his fist. He looks like he’s in the middle of grading papers, although maybe he’s just reading because the quill in his hand is not moving. “Teddy?” You say as you close the door and make your way down the center isle of the classroom towards his desk.

 

“I mean, Professor Lupin?” You amend with a sweet smile because you have lost count how many times he’s asked you to call him that at school.

 

By the time you reach his desk you realize he is sleeping and you are seriously torn between wanting to rouse him awake in some utterly obnoxious way, and just letting him rest because it’s clear that he needs it.

 

Instead you watch him for a moment and the mischievous grin melts away because this is Teddy and it actually pains you to see him like this.  It’s four weeks into term and he’s already looking like he’s aged way too much, you cannot imagine how he’s going to survive this year.

 

When you round his desk you are careful not to wake him, although the moment your hand comes to rest on his shoulder he jolts awake in a confused bluster.

 

“Hey, take it easy. Time for bed, you.” Your tone is uncharacteristically dulcet and he’s dropped his quill and is rubbing at his eyes with bent knuckles before he turns a weary gaze on you.

 

“James, what are you doing here?” He says around a massive yawn, and your heart melts just a little bit for him because you know him well enough to recognize fatigue when you see it.

 

“Head boy says it’s time for bed, Professor.” You hook him beneath the elbow and help him out of his seat and for just a moment he doesn’t pull away. You know that it is only sleep deprivation that is working in your favor, but you take it because it’s been so long since he’s allowed you to be this close to him.

 

“You shouldn’t be here.” He murmurs behind his hand as he yawns and you just laugh lightly and escort him through the door to the left that leads into his private rooms.

 

His staff quarters are modest and it only takes a quick glance around for you to see he hasn’t even unpacked. You frown briefly while he’s not looking and when he collapses on his bed you sigh inwardly and resolve to do what you can to help him out because he means more to you than anyone else on the planet.

 

Before you slip out, you help him out of his shoes and cover him with a blanket and you have to smile because he’s already fallen back asleep.

 

When you close the door behind you, you do it quietly and instead of leaving the classroom and continuing your nightly patrol, you take a seat at Teddy’s desk to finish grading his stack of first-year papers because maybe you aren’t as much of an insufferable shit as Teddy thinks you are.

 

By the time you _do_ let yourself out of the classroom it’s late and Prefect patrol is now long over. All the way back up to Gryffindor tower you think about Teddy and the way he looked sleeping at his desk, and when you climb into your bed in the waning darkness you smile to yourself and you sleep easier than you have in weeks.

 

\--

 

The next morning you are running late, and by the time you grace the great hall with your presence, a majority of the students and staff have already taken their leave. Teddy is also absent and as you take a seat at the Gryffindor table, you glance up to his vacant spot and hope he actually made it down to eat this morning.

 

Morning classes are the usual droll, but you don’t miss the way Sebastian covertly sneaks glances at Catie Finnigan every so often during Charms. A small part of you feels guilty about Catie because, it’s not like you didn’t know how Sebastian felt about her; he makes it blatantly obvious half the time, and by the time you are making your way to Transfiguration you decide that you will have a talk with him later.

 

Teddy looks marginally less zombie-eque during class and although you are smirking noncommittally on the outside, you are infinitely pleased internally.  You are studying living Transfiguration text today, which affords you plenty of time to watch him when he isn’t looking. Without even realizing it you give up reading entirely and succumb to day dreaming, and you spend the majority of the class wondering if there would ever be a point where Teddy didn’t consider you a child. You know that your love for your god brother is something that could be considered wrong by a lot of people, but you’ve never given much thought to how other people percieve you. You’ve lived with this for years now, standing by as your brotherly love morphed into hero-worship, infatuation, and then love. Even if he never loves you back the way you do him, you will suffer it because the thought of him absent from your life scares you.

 

It’s not like he isn’t aware of how you feel. You’ve always been painfully blunt and you will never forget the look on his face when you confessed to him that night back at Godric’s Hollow. That night had been the first time Teddy had ever truly hurt you, and his awkward rejection is something that you will never forget. What you have no way of knowing is that Teddy beats himself up over his feelings for you. He’s explained to you countless times how _wrong_ it is, even if he doesn’t fully believe it himself. Your family has been good to him and the thought of disappointing your father is something that scares him.

 

By the time class is finished you have successfully managed to retain nothing of your studying and you shrug it off as you pack up your things. On your way towards the door he calls you back for a moment, and your pulse instantly quickens.

 

“Mr. Potter, a moment please.” Sebastian quirks a knowing brow at you which earns him an elbow in the ribs and when he leaves the room with the rest of the class, the sudden silence is suffocating.

 

“Professor Lupin?” You drawl as you make your way up the center isle to his desk, gaze fixed on him and mouth curved into a faint smirk.

 

“I have it on good authority that this classroom is not on your patrol route.” He is marking papers with a red self-inking quill and he doesn’t even look up as he speaks.

 

Your brows come together in a petulant frown, because of all the things Teddy could have chosen to say to you, this is not what you wanted to hear.

 

“I wont apologize.” You say rather matter-o-factly, which earns you a deep sigh.

 

“I wasn’t expecting an apology James, I just wanted to say thank you.” When he glances up from his stack of papers to smile tentatively at you, your heart soars and you resist grinning like the proud peacock that you are.

 

“You’re welcome, _Professor._ ” When you emphasize his title you do not miss the briefest sliver of unreadable emotions on his face.

 

“See you tomorrow James.” He says, and then he nods firmly and returns his attention back to the stack of papers on his desk.

 

“Not if I see you first.” You cut in, and when you grin mischievously over your shoulder at him on the way out the door, he knows he’s in trouble.

 

 

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Colors and Trickery](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2469101) by [unkissed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unkissed/pseuds/unkissed)




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